a dream is a wish your heart makes...

and sometimes they are from God... and He sends seemingly 'strange' reminders at 'strange' times to remind us that He has not forgotten. And, sometimes it's difficult to verbalize these things at the risk of being vulnerable or fear of the realities. I saw the movie 'The Blind Side' with my family on Christmas Day... great movie! I really didn't expect it to impact me like it did. I sat there the entire movie... bawling... a broken heart for the inner city teens in the movie. It was the same emotions I felt on two of my occasions of leaving Mexico on a plane... with a broken heart for the people... tears running down my face. I felt in my heart that someday God will take me back there... with my love for Spanish and the people. I don't know why I feel this way and God has placed these emotions in my heart.... but He has... I want the lost everywhere to know His saving power... and to see the course of lives changed. About 2 years ago, God placed the idea in my heart of going into inner cities and partnering with Christian organizations to take senior photos for graduating students... I have no idea what this would look like... maybe an incentive for good grades or attendance... or simply graduating... maybe partnering with a store or company that would provide a new professional outfit to the student for their pictures and interviews... all to create a platform to share Jesus and provide the student with a view of life and themselves beyond their present circumstances. I believe God will continue to orchestrate connections with the right people and give me creativity and ideas to carry out this dream of His. [It's amazing how God creates us a certain way as individuals so that we will have favor with the specific people we may need in our lives to carry out His purpose.] Back to the movie... I want to be that person who is sensitive to the needs and cries of others... who sees beyond the comforts of present life... and invests everything to better the lives of others, point them to Jesus, and ultimately change the course of their lives. I believe for that. I definitely want to give birth to children someday... but, I also want to claim lost and forgotten babies, children, or teens as my own... I believe that's what Jesus would do... I know that's what He has done for me... claimed me as His own. I don't know how all of these things will unfold... I just know He's stirring something deep in my heart... and I'm listening.

frosted windowpanes.

I absolutely love frosted windowpanes. I'm sitting here at my computer as Christmas Eve has just turned into Christmas Day.... selecting photos for {best of 2009}... tree lights are twinkling, and snowflakes are falling... and I can't help but have a thankful and hopeful heart. I say it all the time... but, God has been so good to me. I have no idea why God has chosen this life for me, but I intend to live it out with everything I am. God is behind me and before me... I just feel like this upcoming year is going to be great and that God is going to do something different. I hope for more perfect little moments like this right now... and wish the same for you. Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

a merry little christmas.

This is my family, and we love each other dearly. We stick together through the good and the bad... when other people fail me, I know that I can count on them... US. At the beginning of the year, we made it through Dad's thyroid surgery. Then, we went on an incredible trip to Thailand and Tokyo... summer vacation in Florida... my photo biz has taken off... Hona graduated with her Master's degree (MBA)... God has done it all. We celebrate a wonderful year and look forward to the things God has in store for 2010. [thank you, becca, for taking these rockin' family photos] [looking forward to the day when we will have two more incredible men in them. ;) ]

sister.

Sister graduated from MSU on Friday with her Master's degree. (MBA) It has been quite a journey of the faithfulness of the Lord. She graduated from high school in May 2005, Evangel University in December 2007, and MSU with her Masters degree in December 2009. God has provided the finances every step of the way, allowing her to graduate debt-free... a miracle in itself. God has truly given her wisdom and knowledge beyond her years and the discipline to accomplish things she never could have dreamed of. All along, she has continued to invest her life into others... and God has given her the strength for the journey. I'm so excited for the great things God is preparing for her... job opportunities, husband, family, ministry, travels... all to be a testimony to His faithfulness. We will all look back and say, "Only with God" could that have been possible. The best is yet to come. Who knows what's next?! :)

[oh, and did I mention that I'm SOOOOOOO proud of her! I thought I was going to burst at her graduation! many more rockin' pics to come!]

miracle moments.

It's the most incredible thing to make it to the other side of a trial to look back and see all of the miracle moments that happened each step of the way. This was the case for me about a week ago. It was one of the most trying times I have had for a long time... but, I was convinced that God would see me through... after countless prayers... and trips to the computer repairmen... read on... :)

It started on Saturday... I was taking photos at an engagement session... getting out of the car with my camera and accidentally hit it on the side of my car... I didn't think anything was wrong with it until I tried to take a picture and a piece fell out of it... nice lens too that I needed for sessions this week! Praise the Lord that I had another lens with me to finish the session... took the lens to Lawrence, and they sent it in to Canon for 3-4 weeks to see if they can repair it... in the meantime, I purchased another lens that was a step below the one I had to hold me over til the other one is repaired.

Then, on Saturday afternoon, my external hard-drive all of a sudden wouldn't connect to my laptop or any computer for that matter... I was hoping for the best that it was just the connection... but, trying not to panic because of the thousands of photos that were on it... like my whole business... I wasn't able to take it in to the computer store until Monday morning... first store told me they couldn't do anything to help me and that it looked like nothing was there... I didn't even know what to do... [some of the photos were backed up... but not some of my most recent work... hence all of the thoughts going through my mind] The computer store said that my only option would probably be to send it off to a drive-saver place that starts out at $5,000. I left and took it to COMPUTER RENAISSANCE [where I would recommend taking any computer problems or purchasing equipment]. I left the computer with them... [Monday was my sister's birthday, and my mom, sis, and I were supposed to spend the day together... so I felt terrible that I had all this other stuff going on.] I was able to do some shopping and a movie with Hona and mom. During the movie, I got a phone call that it looked like my hard drive had crashed and that it was blank....but they needed me to bring in my laptop to check for sure. I went back into the movie sobbing... my mom and I prayed... my dad had been home sick and prayed all day too... we left the movie and my dad was waiting for me... to go with me to the computer place. When we got there, the tech said that since he had talked to me.... things had gotten... long pause... "better!!" I think he was as surprised as we were... we said we had been praying... I believe it was truly a miracle. Last week was a long and uncertain waiting process as they have retrieved one file at a time from the hard drive. But, PRAISE THE LORD... I now have the hard drives with all of the files... MIRACLE. This was a very costly venture... but, the next Tuesday, I made a deposit into my biz account from photo work for the EXCACT amount I had paid for the hard drive recovery... MIRACLE.

Then, on Wednesday, I was driving home from a photo session and the steering wheel just dropped to one side with a thud... I was driving into my neighborhood thankfully!! [I laughed a little to myself... I just couldn't believe it.] So, I just slowed down and made it to my house... we got it to the repairman... they had never seen anything like that happen before... we PRAYED. Two days later, the car was repaired with a salvaged part that cost 1/2 of the price of a new one... MIRACLE.

WOW. I have learned a lot. I know that God has set me up to have this photography business, and I know that He has taken care of me... I've been reminded that He is my source... even if I lose everything... and that I can only depend on Him... not myself and what I am capable of doing... without Him I am helpless. I have learned valuable lessons about data backup-- I now have 4 external hard drives and online backup. :) [word to the wise!] I never want to have a day like that again. I will praise Him in the good and the bad though. I am thankful that it was technical things that can be replaced, etc.... rather than sicknesses, etc.

OTHER COOL THINGS THAT GOD DID THAT WEEK:

I met and sat across from the editor of Metropolitan Bride magazine at the Realife leader banquet on Friday night... she invited to me to a wedding vendor lunch group. I went to this on Tuesday where I met some really great people and met one of the area's premier wedding photographers... had a good conversation with her in which she gave me some good advice for my photography biz. :)

I had a lot of quality bonding time with my Dad especially... I have been reminded of how much wisdom he has to offer... and how wonderful my family is... when something happens... we are all in it together. :) So thankful.

One of my dearest friends, Sarah, was in town for the week from Minnesota to sing in A James River Christmas... we had a wonderful coffee date. :)

I have received a lot of calls this week to schedule future photo sessions... even for April!! :)

I sold over $100 more of my jewelry I make... going toward my Speed the Light goal! :)

And, now I REACHED my Speed the Light goal (money for missionaries)... and the students at Realife raised over $220,000 this year for missions as of Wednesday night. INCREDIBLE.

GOD IS GOOD.

I am more convinced then ever that He cares about every detail of our lives and is capable of more than we could know.
Just had to share. :)