stop. play. fast forward. rewind. pause.

This post might be kind of vague... but, maybe that's how life seems sometimes. Today has been a little strange... and I feel like a blog post is in order. Life is busy to be sure... but, the question is... the right kind of busy? Are you pursuing things of purpose and eternal significance? Do you make time to invest in people? Do you have time to dream and process life? Are you doing what you are passionate about? Is there margin in your life for rest? I think that sometimes we find ourselves at a self-imposed "stand-still"... oh, yes... we may be "busy" in the hustle and bustle of life... but, that doesn't mean we are being purposeful and fulfilling God's call on our lives. Or, maybe we forget that we have the ability to make choices and to extravagantly trust God. Life does not have to be the same forever... with God, the possibilities are endless. But, sometimes we might limit God's "doing a new thing" in our lives... because we simply forget that there is and could be more. (or different) I also believe that many times we allow ourselves to be limited by the lives of those most dear to us. And, tonight, I feel God stirring something new in my heart... change may be in order. Every life has a different story with different passions to go different places and to impact different people. This is nothing to be afraid of... but rather something to embrace. We have one life to live... are you living it?

a dream is a wish your heart makes...

and sometimes they are from God... and He sends seemingly 'strange' reminders at 'strange' times to remind us that He has not forgotten. And, sometimes it's difficult to verbalize these things at the risk of being vulnerable or fear of the realities. I saw the movie 'The Blind Side' with my family on Christmas Day... great movie! I really didn't expect it to impact me like it did. I sat there the entire movie... bawling... a broken heart for the inner city teens in the movie. It was the same emotions I felt on two of my occasions of leaving Mexico on a plane... with a broken heart for the people... tears running down my face. I felt in my heart that someday God will take me back there... with my love for Spanish and the people. I don't know why I feel this way and God has placed these emotions in my heart.... but He has... I want the lost everywhere to know His saving power... and to see the course of lives changed. About 2 years ago, God placed the idea in my heart of going into inner cities and partnering with Christian organizations to take senior photos for graduating students... I have no idea what this would look like... maybe an incentive for good grades or attendance... or simply graduating... maybe partnering with a store or company that would provide a new professional outfit to the student for their pictures and interviews... all to create a platform to share Jesus and provide the student with a view of life and themselves beyond their present circumstances. I believe God will continue to orchestrate connections with the right people and give me creativity and ideas to carry out this dream of His. [It's amazing how God creates us a certain way as individuals so that we will have favor with the specific people we may need in our lives to carry out His purpose.] Back to the movie... I want to be that person who is sensitive to the needs and cries of others... who sees beyond the comforts of present life... and invests everything to better the lives of others, point them to Jesus, and ultimately change the course of their lives. I believe for that. I definitely want to give birth to children someday... but, I also want to claim lost and forgotten babies, children, or teens as my own... I believe that's what Jesus would do... I know that's what He has done for me... claimed me as His own. I don't know how all of these things will unfold... I just know He's stirring something deep in my heart... and I'm listening.

who's dream are you dreaming?

I recently read a book, Completely His by Shannon Ethridge, that really challenged my perspective. We live in a culture that constantly challenges us to "dream big", "reach for the stars", "follow your dreams"... while all of this can be good, it can also cause us to lose sight of something really important. As Christians in this world, our life mission is actually to fulfill God's dream. What is His dream? That people would believe in Him and be saved. This is where our individual dreams come into play... the way that we actually fulfill God's dream will look different for each of us. These are the dreams that He places in our hearts. Over the past couple of weeks, I have really been challenging myself to think each day... "how can I make God's dream come true today?" Now that's a new thought.

God has put some really incredible opportunities right in front of me, and I'm just beginning to see the weight and influence of them. On a weekly basis, I interact with non-Christians through my photography business... I have a couple hours with them to just walk around and talk about life. God has recently challenged me to be very intentional with these conversations. Also, God has given me a window of opportunity to really focus on investing in the lives of high school students. I have made the decision to be full on in this, and it has affected every aspect of my life. I want to give more and keep on giving, whether it's my time, energy, finances... My high school life group had a pancake breakfast yesterday at Applebee's... praise the Lord that we were able to raise $1,000 for Speed The Light for missionaries. When you take people on such a journey with you, it definitely causes you to raise the bar in your own life. I'm not looking back. I'm running ahead. This is worth living for.

p.s. Dad's most recent insight to me... "as you enter your mid-20's, you may actually find yourself marrying a man rather than a boy." I would be okay with that. :)