I've been reading...

Love Beyond Reason by John Ortberg

This was such a powerful book that I would highly recommend that you read. I feel like I need to read it again right now just to be able to absorb all of it. I felt like it took me on a behind the scenes journey of God's love for me, and how and why I can translate that into my love for Him and others. Some key elements that John Ortberg covered were contentment in the desert, being chosen, how He searches for hiding people, and how He is the God of the roundabout way. Here are a couple of quotes that were significant to me.

"You have made us for yourself; and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in Thee." -Augustine

"This is the ineffable and infinite mercy of God which the slender capacity of man's heart cannot comprehend and much less utter- the unfathomable depth and burning zeal of God's love toward us." -martin luther

"Yes Lord [I love you.]," Peter answers. "Then feed my sheep," Jesus says. Love and teach and guard and guide and serve the little flock that means all the world to me. Get back in the game." -john ortberg

a dream is a wish your heart makes...

and sometimes they are from God... and He sends seemingly 'strange' reminders at 'strange' times to remind us that He has not forgotten. And, sometimes it's difficult to verbalize these things at the risk of being vulnerable or fear of the realities. I saw the movie 'The Blind Side' with my family on Christmas Day... great movie! I really didn't expect it to impact me like it did. I sat there the entire movie... bawling... a broken heart for the inner city teens in the movie. It was the same emotions I felt on two of my occasions of leaving Mexico on a plane... with a broken heart for the people... tears running down my face. I felt in my heart that someday God will take me back there... with my love for Spanish and the people. I don't know why I feel this way and God has placed these emotions in my heart.... but He has... I want the lost everywhere to know His saving power... and to see the course of lives changed. About 2 years ago, God placed the idea in my heart of going into inner cities and partnering with Christian organizations to take senior photos for graduating students... I have no idea what this would look like... maybe an incentive for good grades or attendance... or simply graduating... maybe partnering with a store or company that would provide a new professional outfit to the student for their pictures and interviews... all to create a platform to share Jesus and provide the student with a view of life and themselves beyond their present circumstances. I believe God will continue to orchestrate connections with the right people and give me creativity and ideas to carry out this dream of His. [It's amazing how God creates us a certain way as individuals so that we will have favor with the specific people we may need in our lives to carry out His purpose.] Back to the movie... I want to be that person who is sensitive to the needs and cries of others... who sees beyond the comforts of present life... and invests everything to better the lives of others, point them to Jesus, and ultimately change the course of their lives. I believe for that. I definitely want to give birth to children someday... but, I also want to claim lost and forgotten babies, children, or teens as my own... I believe that's what Jesus would do... I know that's what He has done for me... claimed me as His own. I don't know how all of these things will unfold... I just know He's stirring something deep in my heart... and I'm listening.

take me deeper.

God is so incredibly good... I cannot begin to wrap my mind around it.  He has really been doing some deep things in my heart and life over the past couple of months.  I know that He is preparing me for what He has already prepared.  I absolutely love being a youth leader... the opportunity to interact and influence students... showing them what it means to love the Lord and serve Him every day of their life.  In the past, I have been presented with the opportunity to be a life group leader... and I'm feeling that I am just now coming to grips with the reality that maybe that is what I should be doing.  I'm continuing to pray about where God is taking me in all of this and trying to stay available for where He would desire to use me.  I feel like I have always had it in my mind that I would like for a guy to be the leader... but, I must remember that I am not a substitute for a guy... and that God has called me and wants to use me.  Christine Caine came to my church this weekend and shared messages that really challenged me.  Resources can be found HERE.  Also, God is really taking me deeper in my worship.  I have a deeper desire than ever to lead God's people into His presence.  He is really teaching me to get over myself and my fears and my lack of confidence... and giving me the courage to step up into the life He has called me to.  I absolutely love living for the Lord... a faith adventure it is... but, I wouldn't want it any other way.