I've been reading... Redeeming Love.

Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

"When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, 'Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.' So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son." Hosea 1:2-3 NIV

Over the past few years, several friends have recommended that I read the book Redeeming Love. I will admit that the 400+ pages is a bit intimidating. :) But, the last time I was at the library, I saw the book and felt compelled to check it out. God has this beautiful way of leading me to read certain books along the way... at just the right time... often preparing me for things I have yet to be aware of. This book was no exception. I will also add that Francine Rivers is a very gifted writer. When she became a Christian later in her life, she allowed God to use her writing as a means of sharing the truth of God's love.

Redeeming Love is an intense, heart-wrenching story based on the book of Hosea in the Bible. It is the story of a godly man, Michael, who follows God's leading to marry a woman to rescue her from the brothels and her life of prostitution. It is a beautiful depiction and parallel of God's relentless love and pursuit of us, despite our rebellion and sin. From the beginning of the book, my heart was broken over the affects that prostitution had on the main character of the story, Angel. She was sold into prostitution at the age of 8. The descriptions of her conditions and treatment were graphic and unthinkable. I was given so much perspective into the lives of women and children who are involved in prostitution and sold into sex slavery. Throughout the book, God broke my heart to the point of tears several times over these precious girls. A life of sex slavery affects a person long-term more than we could realize- feelings of inadequacy, guilt, shame, the suppressing of emotions, and so much more.

Michael loved Angel unconditionally, forgiving her for her past, as well as each time she ran away from him and back to her life of prostitution. He portrayed so many characteristics that a woman desires to find in a husband: quiet strength, courage, righteous anger, unconditional love, selflessness, gentleness, hard worker, provider, sensitive to God's leading, person of prayer, etc. The more I thought about these characteristics, I realized that the reason they are so important and so attractive is because a person who possesses these qualities looks so much like Jesus. "Everything Michael did had purpose." So like Jesus.

Michael loved Angel like Jesus, even though her heart was so far from Him. But, the journey of her life was God's relentless pursuit of her, using people and situations to point her to Him. Only God could fill the void in her heart, remove her loneliness, and give her life purpose. Michael desired for Angel to embrace her new freedom that resulted from his love.

In the same way, God pursues our hearts all the days of our lives. Even when we sin against Him and do our own thing... He still pursues us. He places people and situations in our lives to draw our hearts to Him. The very thought leaves me in awe. What a wonderful God. There is no person who is beyond the reach or grace of God. We cannot give up on people. He never gives up on someone; He never gives up on us. "Oh, God, it's not the way I planned. But then, what of real, lasting value ever is?"

This book was very intense... I would honestly not recommend it for someone younger than myself because of the graphic content... and it would probably be better for someone who is married. My life has been changed because of this book. And, with knowledge and awareness comes great responsibility. I am not exactly sure what God wants me to do with this knowledge, but I will be sensitive to His direction moving forward. I have been left in awe of God's love and pursuit. He truly does restore, heal, and give our lives purpose. I am excited for God to use me in this process in other peoples' lives. If you choose to read this book, ask God to give you an open heart for how He would desire to change you because of it.


"Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them." Hosea 14:9 NIV

giving thanks. day 1. november 1.

Day 1 | Salvation

Because of Him- I am abundantly free.

Okay. I'm going to jump on the bandwagon here to share 25 days of what I am thankful for. :) Such a healthy thing to do.

To start things off- I'm first and foremost thankful for salvation through Jesus's death and resurrection for me and you. Because of Him, I live each day with hope and purpose.

Psalm 103:3-5, 10

"He forgives your sins—every one.
He heals your diseases—every one.
He redeems you from hell—saves your life!
He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.
He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal.
He renews your youth—you're always young in his presence.

He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve,
nor pay us back in full for our wrongs."

My heart is forever grateful.

Jesus loves me, this I know...

This is the view from my seat tonight and the sun sets... feeling like I have the best seat in the house... listening to the sound of the crashing waves and looking at the vast expanse of the ocean... in absolute awe... there is something about the ocean that makes you feel so near to God... and stand in such awe of Him at the very same moment. You guessed it... I'm on vacation... spending 10 days of relaxation in Florida. It's easy for one to feel guilty for taking time off... but, as I shared with a friend just the other day... I believe that vacation is absolutely necessary. And as I sit here at the ocean... I am reminded that some of my greatest vision and dreams for life have been the fruit of times away from the hustle and bustle of life.... when there is no agenda... nothing preoccupying your thoughts... and there is opportunity for sleep, rest, and refreshment... It brings clarity. And, I think that sometimes you don't realize how much you needed a break until you get one. These past couple of days have been incredible. So- I was walking by myself along the beach yesterday afternoon... splashing along and letting the sand squish beneath my toes.... when I said the silent prayer, "Lord, teach me something new about You... and I'll tell the world what I find." Now that seems like kind of a bold prayer... then, I go pick up the book "Love Beyond Reason" by John Ortberg... this could be a pretty neat journey... I'll let you be part of my "world". :) Yesterday my sister and I saw dolphins off the coast, and today we saw about 50 cownose sting rays [come to find out- they are migrating to Mexico and there could have been thousands of them!] and we didn't even have to go to sea world. :) I'm excited for the new things God is going to teach me this week, the visions and dreams He will place in my heart, and the rejuvenating He will give my body, mind, and spirit.

Signing off for now... here's what I've been up to as I've been writing... green tea in hand. :)

I went to the salvation army thrift store yesterday and overheard this guy's story... he was in his mid-20's and a volunteer was helping him pick out things he would need to start a life on his own... off the streets...dress clothes, shoes, coat, luggage...he couldn't believe he could pick out anything in the store that he needed... my heart was so happy for him... God reminded me that one person truly matters... this guy's life was changed... little things can make a huge difference. ♥ .

retreat 2010.

If you ever need God to rock your world... sign up to be a high school life group leader... better yet... get signed up by someone else. :) This semester has been one of the most significant times of growth I have ever experienced. When there are people in your life looking up to you and depending on you... it changes you. I suppose it is a similar feeling of responsibility to having a spouse or children. It's basically a process of getting over yourself so that someone else's life can be better. God has really challenged me with the reality that I only have a window of opportunity with some of these students... maybe a matter of weeks for the graduating seniors. I have to be intentional. Although there have been great obstacles and challenges, sitting on the floor in the basement of our host home listening to student after student telling about how God is changing their life... makes it worth every minute of prayer, sweat, and hard work. Yes... retreat was tons of fun... getting all decked out in pink, getting hit in the head four times in a row in one game of dodgeball, running through the mud to the finish line, crazy cheers, losing your voice, wild bus rides, late nights... love it all... but, it's so cool how God can use all of that to tear down walls, build relationships, and get students' attentions.

Sometimes the change is a journey of breakthrough after breakthrough... sometimes it's immediate. Students are now wanting to come to church... taking notes... asking deep questions... passionately praying for their unsaved family... being bold about their faith... breaking free from the chains that have bound them. And it's just the beginning?! :) Wow. Can't believe I get to be part of this.

funday. monday. (thanks to my sis)

Life is too short to dread any day of the week or to get stuck in such a life routine that you can't get out or to miss out on doing the things you love or to feel purposeless or to be too busy for people. I am convinced that the world will do anything to sap the life and joy out of you... trying to turn you into a person you were never created to be. Today was wonderful. I got started back into pilates... I've missed it! I went to coffee with my incredible Aunt. My office was the Library today... with a peanut butter puddle. These are the days and the moments that make up Life. I feel like for the past year I have overlooked too many wonderful things... I've been pretty focused on my business... which is important... but, there is so much more to life. I'm not willing to let that happen again. It's so true that if you don't manage your time, your time will manage you. When you don't feel out of control, it's much more exciting to get out of bed in the morning and rest well at night. Life isn't always exciting... sometimes you have to do hard things or be a big person... but, I'm convinced that a fun attitude can take you a long way... why not grab a latte or take a friend along for the ride or take a mid-day break for a pilates class. I've learned that life is miserable when you do it alone... stay connected to people. I've learned that life is miserable when you live for yourself... learn to see God in the details. So, here's to funday monday and tuesday and wednesday and.... :)

living and learning. lessons from 2009.

At the beginning of 2009, I decided I would keep a list of life lessons I learned throughout the year by personal experience or the observation of others. I had no idea I would learn so many things. J Some are funny… some are serious. It ‘s always best to learn from others so that you don’t have to learn the hard way. This is worth reading… I hope you can grab a couple of them to take with you and apply to your life. I have by no means mastered them… still on the life-long journey.

1. If you don’t manage your time, your time will manage you.

2. Going to bed at 10pm makes life better. J

3. Fake nails are the remedy for nail-biting. J

4. Investing in one person IS significant- they could be the one to change the world.

5. Always keep learning and reading.

6. Treasure family.

7. It’s good to make a plan, but don’t get ahead of God.

8. Ice storms just might be God’s way of saying, “stop, rest, think, dream.” J

9. You don’t want to find out what you missed by simply not asking God. So ask.

10. People may actually remember what you said a year ago. Good or bad.

11. It’s worth it to go out to eat with friends after church… even if you can’t get out of bed the next day. J

12. Do something you are afraid to do every day.

13. Look for the people who are serving when no one else is watching… they are the real leaders.

14. Be the friend that’s present in both the tragedy and the mundane.

15. It’s worth it to spend money on fresh flowers… even better, grow your own.

16. Invest time, money, energy into the next generation… change history.

17. Read different translations of the Bible every once in a while… you will fall in love with reading it all over again.

18. Journal and take photos… live your life and document it.

19. When you say that you will pray for someone, write it down and actually pray.

20. Bless someone every day… loneliness results from thinking too much about ourselves.

21. Time at the altar seeking God and soul-searching is never wasted.

22. When it’s freezing cold outside, wear the warmest coat you have… cute or not. J

23. Hang on to the birthday cards with the long letter of wisdom from grandpa… you may need it.

24. Do two things you don’t want to do every day.

25. “Success comes to those who are working too hard to look for it.”

26. Hang on to the friends who tell you the truth you don’t want to hear.

27. People will make decisions based on your outlook on life.

28. It’s a good thing to live at home with your parents when you can. J

29. When family comes to visit, cancel everything to spend time with them.

30. We may not know ourselves as well as we think.

31. Sitting outside and watching the stars at night can put life back into perspective.

32. It’s okay for Mom and Dad to have Facebooks… they need friends too. J

33. Don’t spend lots of money on clothing/accessories… you WILL want to get rid of them someday.

34. Everyone has a background/story that affects their outlook on life. Don’t judge.

35. Time reveals a person’s true character.

36. Don’t make determinations/decisions about life when you are tired or at night.

37. Make family your priority… they will still be there when everyone else fails you.

38. Invite people to church… they’re waiting for you to ask.

39. Invest your self, time, energy, and resources rather than simply spending them.

40. You don’t have to understand it all in order to take the next step forward.

41. Stay close to Jesus… and He will take you where you never thought you could or would go.

42. When it seems like God is holding out on you, He is actually protecting you and setting you up for something great.

43. Don’t settle for cheap substitutes or to walk the easy road… they don’t last.

44. God HAS to be the first place you run to share your joys, sorrows, fears, and doubts.

45. Don’t hold on to your life tightly… live with your hands open… freely giving and receiving as God sees fit.

46. When life is hard, don’t turn up the noise and speed up the pace… it’s good to think and process with God.

47. Love and cherish the people in your life… because they may leave before you realize that you need to.

48. See people with their potential- not as they are now… or you may miss out on having them in your life.

49. When you invest your finances in things that are God’s priorities, He will provide and meet your every need.

50. Life is not going to slow down, so stop waiting for it to… jump on board and start living.

51. Don’t allow your mind to think too far ahead or you will miss the moment in which you are living.

52. When a car is parked in the garage, don’t park behind them- they may forget you are there and back into your vehicle. J

53. Don’t marry the flirt… some things just don’t change. [observation.]

54. When you have people in your life depending on you and looking up to you, it causes you to live to a higher standard and be more thoughtful making decisions.

55. Welcome people into your family who have no family… that’s the heart of Jesus.

56. When you are having a bad day, look at yourself in the mirror and force yourself to smile and smile and smile… bet you can’t stop. J

57. Have multiple backups of your computer data… trust me. J

58. Learn from the mistakes of others so that you don’t have to make them yourself.

59. If vehicles aren’t needing repairs, they need maintenance… save accordingly.

60. You will begin to talk like and act like the people you spend the most time with… choose wisely.

61. Don’t be in relationships with people who tell you what you want to hear but rather those who throw you overboard into greatness.

62. Take as many trips/vacations with your family as you can- the memories will last a lifetime.

63. Let God be the one to fight for you- He responds when you live like you need Him.

64. “The biggest moments in our lives are so small compared to what God wants to do.” –hona

65. Eating healthy and exercising is good stewardship of the life and body God has given you… preventing sickness and disease… be wise.

66. There is always something to be happy about… it’s a matter of finding or noticing it.

67. Owning your own business has its advantages and disadvantages… ask me before you do it. J

68. “Go as far as you can see, and when you get there you will see farther.” – hona

69. Some things are not worth crying over… but some things are.

70. Keep your spouse first… then the kids… so, when the kids are gone, you will still have your best friend. [observation.]

71. It’s okay to be open and vulnerable with your life… your stories may be someone’s answers or source of inspiration.

72. Sometimes all you can do is believe.

73. Every birthday is worth celebrating… you are alive! J

74. Growing old is a way of thinking… embrace change and stay forever young.

75. If you find yourself doubting the nearness of God, spend time in nature, and you will see Him everywhere.

76. God is the ultimate creativity… He has some good ideas for you… ask Him.

77. Sometimes you have to be away from the ones you love, but it doesn’t mean you love them any less… usually makes you love them more.

78. Don’t be afraid to open your home to orphans… after all, God adopted us as His own and changed the course of our lives.

79. When you talk to people, ask yourself, ‘What is their present need and how can I help meet the need?’

80. The more you give your life away… the more you will want to keep giving.

81. We have no reason to complain about inconveniences… we live such comfortable lives.

82. Sometimes the things God requires of us don’t make us happy at the moment, but God is working behind the scenes to set us up for greatness.

83. Don’t carry your camera on your shoulder… risky business. J

84. When we encourage people, it is important to point them back to God’s Word and their need for Him- our words don’t change hearts and lives.

85. Faith can cause silent prayers to be answered… He knows the desire and needs that we have never put to words.

86. If you don’t take risks and step out in faith, you may never know what God can do… and what it is to really be alive.

87. Beautiful looks different to everyone.

88. “Unless God is with me, I don’t want to go.”

89. “God uses nobodies to do His work.”

90. You must pull yourself together one the inside- the rest of the world is losing it and falling apart.

91. We all dream of going and changing the world… rarely the communities in which we already live. [guilty of this.]

92. No one likes to do the “dirty work”- be the one to pick up trash, work behind the scenes, and have the tough conversations.

93. Create margin in your life- it allows you to relax and be available for people and God.

94. “When you are close to Him, you can hear a whisper.”

95. “God is outside of time and knows how to put everything in order.”

96. When it seems like God is not answering our prayers, He is taking us on a journey that is changing our lives.

97. There are some worthwhile things in life that simply deserve our commitment.

98. It is worth it to clean your room for 20 minutes a day so that you don’t have to spend a week doing it. J

99. Not every Christian loves Jesus as much as I do.

100. God gives us time so that everything doesn’t happen at once… He knows what we can handle.

Here is to a Happy New Year. 2010 will hold many incredible opportunities, challenges, joys, and sorrows. The future is bright. God is with us and for us. Stay close to Him.

Heather

a dream is a wish your heart makes...

and sometimes they are from God... and He sends seemingly 'strange' reminders at 'strange' times to remind us that He has not forgotten. And, sometimes it's difficult to verbalize these things at the risk of being vulnerable or fear of the realities. I saw the movie 'The Blind Side' with my family on Christmas Day... great movie! I really didn't expect it to impact me like it did. I sat there the entire movie... bawling... a broken heart for the inner city teens in the movie. It was the same emotions I felt on two of my occasions of leaving Mexico on a plane... with a broken heart for the people... tears running down my face. I felt in my heart that someday God will take me back there... with my love for Spanish and the people. I don't know why I feel this way and God has placed these emotions in my heart.... but He has... I want the lost everywhere to know His saving power... and to see the course of lives changed. About 2 years ago, God placed the idea in my heart of going into inner cities and partnering with Christian organizations to take senior photos for graduating students... I have no idea what this would look like... maybe an incentive for good grades or attendance... or simply graduating... maybe partnering with a store or company that would provide a new professional outfit to the student for their pictures and interviews... all to create a platform to share Jesus and provide the student with a view of life and themselves beyond their present circumstances. I believe God will continue to orchestrate connections with the right people and give me creativity and ideas to carry out this dream of His. [It's amazing how God creates us a certain way as individuals so that we will have favor with the specific people we may need in our lives to carry out His purpose.] Back to the movie... I want to be that person who is sensitive to the needs and cries of others... who sees beyond the comforts of present life... and invests everything to better the lives of others, point them to Jesus, and ultimately change the course of their lives. I believe for that. I definitely want to give birth to children someday... but, I also want to claim lost and forgotten babies, children, or teens as my own... I believe that's what Jesus would do... I know that's what He has done for me... claimed me as His own. I don't know how all of these things will unfold... I just know He's stirring something deep in my heart... and I'm listening.

frosted windowpanes.

I absolutely love frosted windowpanes. I'm sitting here at my computer as Christmas Eve has just turned into Christmas Day.... selecting photos for {best of 2009}... tree lights are twinkling, and snowflakes are falling... and I can't help but have a thankful and hopeful heart. I say it all the time... but, God has been so good to me. I have no idea why God has chosen this life for me, but I intend to live it out with everything I am. God is behind me and before me... I just feel like this upcoming year is going to be great and that God is going to do something different. I hope for more perfect little moments like this right now... and wish the same for you. Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

sister.

Sister graduated from MSU on Friday with her Master's degree. (MBA) It has been quite a journey of the faithfulness of the Lord. She graduated from high school in May 2005, Evangel University in December 2007, and MSU with her Masters degree in December 2009. God has provided the finances every step of the way, allowing her to graduate debt-free... a miracle in itself. God has truly given her wisdom and knowledge beyond her years and the discipline to accomplish things she never could have dreamed of. All along, she has continued to invest her life into others... and God has given her the strength for the journey. I'm so excited for the great things God is preparing for her... job opportunities, husband, family, ministry, travels... all to be a testimony to His faithfulness. We will all look back and say, "Only with God" could that have been possible. The best is yet to come. Who knows what's next?! :)

[oh, and did I mention that I'm SOOOOOOO proud of her! I thought I was going to burst at her graduation! many more rockin' pics to come!]

miracle moments.

It's the most incredible thing to make it to the other side of a trial to look back and see all of the miracle moments that happened each step of the way. This was the case for me about a week ago. It was one of the most trying times I have had for a long time... but, I was convinced that God would see me through... after countless prayers... and trips to the computer repairmen... read on... :)

It started on Saturday... I was taking photos at an engagement session... getting out of the car with my camera and accidentally hit it on the side of my car... I didn't think anything was wrong with it until I tried to take a picture and a piece fell out of it... nice lens too that I needed for sessions this week! Praise the Lord that I had another lens with me to finish the session... took the lens to Lawrence, and they sent it in to Canon for 3-4 weeks to see if they can repair it... in the meantime, I purchased another lens that was a step below the one I had to hold me over til the other one is repaired.

Then, on Saturday afternoon, my external hard-drive all of a sudden wouldn't connect to my laptop or any computer for that matter... I was hoping for the best that it was just the connection... but, trying not to panic because of the thousands of photos that were on it... like my whole business... I wasn't able to take it in to the computer store until Monday morning... first store told me they couldn't do anything to help me and that it looked like nothing was there... I didn't even know what to do... [some of the photos were backed up... but not some of my most recent work... hence all of the thoughts going through my mind] The computer store said that my only option would probably be to send it off to a drive-saver place that starts out at $5,000. I left and took it to COMPUTER RENAISSANCE [where I would recommend taking any computer problems or purchasing equipment]. I left the computer with them... [Monday was my sister's birthday, and my mom, sis, and I were supposed to spend the day together... so I felt terrible that I had all this other stuff going on.] I was able to do some shopping and a movie with Hona and mom. During the movie, I got a phone call that it looked like my hard drive had crashed and that it was blank....but they needed me to bring in my laptop to check for sure. I went back into the movie sobbing... my mom and I prayed... my dad had been home sick and prayed all day too... we left the movie and my dad was waiting for me... to go with me to the computer place. When we got there, the tech said that since he had talked to me.... things had gotten... long pause... "better!!" I think he was as surprised as we were... we said we had been praying... I believe it was truly a miracle. Last week was a long and uncertain waiting process as they have retrieved one file at a time from the hard drive. But, PRAISE THE LORD... I now have the hard drives with all of the files... MIRACLE. This was a very costly venture... but, the next Tuesday, I made a deposit into my biz account from photo work for the EXCACT amount I had paid for the hard drive recovery... MIRACLE.

Then, on Wednesday, I was driving home from a photo session and the steering wheel just dropped to one side with a thud... I was driving into my neighborhood thankfully!! [I laughed a little to myself... I just couldn't believe it.] So, I just slowed down and made it to my house... we got it to the repairman... they had never seen anything like that happen before... we PRAYED. Two days later, the car was repaired with a salvaged part that cost 1/2 of the price of a new one... MIRACLE.

WOW. I have learned a lot. I know that God has set me up to have this photography business, and I know that He has taken care of me... I've been reminded that He is my source... even if I lose everything... and that I can only depend on Him... not myself and what I am capable of doing... without Him I am helpless. I have learned valuable lessons about data backup-- I now have 4 external hard drives and online backup. :) [word to the wise!] I never want to have a day like that again. I will praise Him in the good and the bad though. I am thankful that it was technical things that can be replaced, etc.... rather than sicknesses, etc.

OTHER COOL THINGS THAT GOD DID THAT WEEK:

I met and sat across from the editor of Metropolitan Bride magazine at the Realife leader banquet on Friday night... she invited to me to a wedding vendor lunch group. I went to this on Tuesday where I met some really great people and met one of the area's premier wedding photographers... had a good conversation with her in which she gave me some good advice for my photography biz. :)

I had a lot of quality bonding time with my Dad especially... I have been reminded of how much wisdom he has to offer... and how wonderful my family is... when something happens... we are all in it together. :) So thankful.

One of my dearest friends, Sarah, was in town for the week from Minnesota to sing in A James River Christmas... we had a wonderful coffee date. :)

I have received a lot of calls this week to schedule future photo sessions... even for April!! :)

I sold over $100 more of my jewelry I make... going toward my Speed the Light goal! :)

And, now I REACHED my Speed the Light goal (money for missionaries)... and the students at Realife raised over $220,000 this year for missions as of Wednesday night. INCREDIBLE.

GOD IS GOOD.

I am more convinced then ever that He cares about every detail of our lives and is capable of more than we could know.
Just had to share. :)